I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize