dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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