Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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