whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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