I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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