its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
True strength comes from lack of pants
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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