why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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