Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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