scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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