You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
