Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
