party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
