So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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