Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
