How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
