Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
