I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
