I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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