I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
