yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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