so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
