He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
