you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
