Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
