xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
