There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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