I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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