I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
