oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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