you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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