i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She swung at the pinata with crutches
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
