I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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