We named our party play list daddy issues
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
