brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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