Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
