just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
