I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
