He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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