Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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