My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
