I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
