I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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