You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
