Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
there is puke in my bra ... again
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