white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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