O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
