when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I deserve this hangover.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize