When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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