you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This is my gift to your gina
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
