just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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