Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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