The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
